Teaching grammar rules to junior high and high school students didn't just give me a paycheck. I can correctly record Devon's thoughts when he's in an "I am the narrator of my own life story" mood.
Devon also references himself in third person.
"But then, so does Mommy," I said one night to Craig.
"Daddy does, too," he replied.
We amuse ourselves thinking of appropriate analogies that reference our son.
Devon is to minivan as bull is to china shop.
(or, if you prefer the SAT format)
Devon: minivan
bull:_________.
Now THAT'S some stellar parenting!!! This incriminating picture reminds me of this week because I feel like we've been spending most of it in the car. Our commitment calendar is filling up fast!
For the first two years of life, it doesn't take a village to raise a child. All it takes is a recliner couch, a Boppy, a Mommy and a Daddy, and a few toys scattered around the living room floor. Playdates are fun, but to be honest more of a chance for Mommy to get some adult conversation than for the kids to pursue meaningful social interaction.
Devon is two-and-a-half today, and I have to admit I've been pretty slow on the uptake when it comes to giving him structured learning time out of the home. To me, being a stay-at-home mom always meant that I was giving up my salary and career to be with my kids, so it didn't seem right to turn around and pay somebody else to take any of my kids, even just for a few hours a week.
I hit a major wall a few weeks ago where I felt like I just couldn't get ahead. I was tired from trying to feed my picky eater, keep his clothes clean, and burn off enough energy to get him in bed at a decent hour and maybe give me a nap a couple times a week. After the Teething Twosome finally yielded to sleep between ten and eleven at night I didn't have another hour to go on pinterest and come up with craft ideas, go to the store and buy supplies, and set up three or four meaningful ten-minute activities. His toddler mind is hard-wired to have new experiences, and I wasn't providing them for him. He found them for himself instead. The house would go quiet and I'd find him in my walk-in closet having a new experience with my hairbrush, Daddy's razor case, and his half-drunk juice box.
It was also hard to balance the needs of two high-needs girls with my older boy who gets antsy if we haven't made plans by ten a.m. Devon loves to play with his sisters, but he needs a break from being with them every moment. He also gets tired of the "different rules" that make the older sibling-younger sibling distinction tense at times. He still doesn't understand why the babies are allowed to reach out with an open hand to pat him on the head and he is reprimanded for doing the same thing back (just much harder).
I may just have to concede to Ms. Rodham Clinton that it takes a village to raise a toddler, even though she's still wrong about politics, social programs, choosing a romantic relationship that has long-term potential, and what kinds of hairstyles are flattering with her facial structure.
On Monday and Wednesday mornings, Devon spends two hours at a local church toddler program called TOTS. It gives Devon new experiences, time with kids his age, and five hours a week away from the girls.
I've been working with Devon on sitting still because one day he would go to preschool. Ironically, one week in "preschool" and Devon grasps the concept of sitting still at a table and participating in a structured activity.
Ahh, the beauty of positive peer pressure. After spending six months of the girls' morning naptimes teaching my son coloring, playdoh, and painting while he resisted me, he's learned all of these skills in a month. He just needed to know that these are things that kids his age DO.
Tasting the playdoh is apparently another thing that kids his age just DO.
+Recent studies have emphasized the importance of peer group in a young person's development. Some even say peers are more influential than parents in determining character, personality, work ethic, and habits. Yikes.
It's important to me that I pick my son's peer groups at this point, especially after working in the public schools and witnessing the nastiness that young people are capable of inflicting upon themselves and each other. Thankfully, Vero Beach has a unique, nationally recognized parenting network community where people can meet and learn about opportunities that would be a good fit.
It's the same for me right now. I feel jealous of his teachers who are experiencing Devon the Student and teaching him how to make a sheep by tracing his hand on paper and gluing cotton balls to the palm. He comes home and his art projects populate the fridge or are sent to Grammy and Grandpa to hand in their kitchen.
Devon wants to chant "Open Them, Shut Them" while sitting in the booster or rattles off the words to a song I've sung over him for two years but couldn't get him to repeat back to me.
"Mommy, I want to sing "JesuslovesmethisIknowfortheBibletellsmeso!"
Devon wakes up from his naps brimming with stories about the other kids in his class. We sit in the comfy chair with the Magna Doodle. He asks me to draw Cayden, Cullen, Trey, Jeremy, and all the other kids he knows. He tells me things about them. Charlie was climbing on the table. Elijah likes trains. Olivia was getting out of bed (????) We go over who knows how to go pee-pee on the potty and I desperately pray that it will sink in and sometime soon I'll only have two children in diapers.
He also tattles on himself.
"No! No! Devon, you do NOT push Scotty!" he says.
"Devon, did you push Scotty?" I ask, concerned.
"Scotty fell down and went boomps. On the Head. On the Floor. Devon needs to obey Mrs. Heinz! No, Devon, you need to take turns!" As Devon's mental tape recorder plays back the events of the day that he is processing, I listen. Not everything I hear is encouraging, and I wonder what little tidbits of life at home he recites for his teachers when I'm not there. At least we're agreed on the skills that Devon needs to learn and committed to helping him.
I marvel at how easy the rest of the day is now. In reality, a two-year-old has a two minute attention span and the rest of the day is plenty long enough to cram with meaningful home experiences. He's gone from the sleepingest baby around (14-16 hours a day) to a toddler that doesn't need much sleep (10-12 hours), and I really notice the impact of the extra awake time on my "workload".
Giving him time away doesn't make me miss out; it gives me time to rest up, clean, or think of ways to make the rest of the day more structured and enjoyable. I've had a few days where I haven't started out with a plan and ended up sitting in the comfy chair at 11 a.m. like a treed raccoon, hungry and holding my first cup of coffee aloft as the kids all climb the sides of the chair whining and reaching for me.
"Devon, it's time to put on your Puggles shirt!" I say as we're getting ready.
"I want Awanas! I want Awanas! I want a little bit 'created the light'" he says.
"Okay, buddy!"
"ON THE FIRST DAY GOD CREATED THE LIGHT! ON THE FIRST DAY GOD CREATED THE LIGHT! ON THE FIRST DAY..."
I was surprised that there was a class for two-year-olds, thinking they were a bit young to be Approved Workmen that Are Not Ashamed. They don't memorize Bible verses yet, but I was amazed at how much they learn. I stayed through the first lesson to see if it would be a good fit, and I spent most of the night redirecting Devon back into his chair or back into line with the other kids. I worried when Devon was the only one who didn't repeat the lesson back to the teacher.
Several days later he started repeating his lesson every time someone turned on the lights. His mental tape recorder was running even when he was running circles around the room.
Devon wants to "climb up all by yorr-say-yowlff" whenever we leave for the car, and "jump down, close the door" when we're getting out and coming inside. Coming or going, he pauses for his favorite ritual: wetting his hand in the cat dish and sprinkling it on himself like it's Holy Water.
Fresh from the evening's excitement, Devon plays contentedly with the girls.
"I do NOT want to bop the babies on the head!" he says virtuously.
Good.
Devon is also developing some interests of his own. Grammy plays piano over Skype while she and Grandpa sing hymns. Devon sits enthralled, and as I use the moment of quiet to vacuum the floor my vision suddenly blurs. It makes me sentimental to hear my Mom play piano like she used to sometimes as I was falling asleep. Maybe Devon's next weekly activity will be music lessons.
No comments:
Post a Comment