Nurse: Yes, the patient will be delivering twins around August 1.
Humana: And that will be outpatient?
Why do they want to code this as outpatient? Our insurance has a ridiculously low threshold of outpatient coverage, so they’d like to stick us with the entire delivery bill after kicking in a few hundred dollars. Nice!
Or, like Craig said, “So, is the potato field they expect you to squat in a covered expense, or do they expect us to pay rent for that, too?”
The good news, however, comes from my appointment today. We’ve set August 1st as an eviction date, if the twins don’t come before then. I’m very pro-induction, after a perfectly smooth one with Devon when he was two days overdue. It was a rough decision at the time, and seemed to garner me a lot of disfavor from the home birth/natural labor crowd who think that pitocin is poison, hospitals are hell, and going into labor a month late is safer. I actually had a stranger shake her head and tell me “Babies know when they want to be born,” and I’m not sure why my delivery choices were any of her business.
For the record, I don’t think that babies know when they want to be born. Babies don’t know when they want ANYTHING. Devon wanted to eat while sleeping and pooping, and ALL of these 24 hours a day. We had to convince him that there were hours in a day where Mommy got to eat something and take a shower and wear a shirt. Now that he’s bigger, he also knows when he wants to do things that aren’t good for him, like playing with steak knives. So I think it’s fine to chemically nudge the girls in the right direction if they’re overdue, which at 37 ½ weeks for multiples they will be. Or as I say:
“Okay, babies, if you don’t come out in two weeks we’re coming in to get you!”
In the meantime, I can imagine them in there discussing their options, perhaps scratching out a calendar on the walls of my uterus and debating the pros and cons of another two weeks inside. I’m in favor of at least another week, because their immune systems and organs are still fine tuning, and a few extra ounces of body weight wouldn’t hurt them either. In the meantime, their combined weight and movement is truly incredible. Sometimes they seem determined to dig their way out through my bellybutton like the Allied POW’s in The Great Escape. Sometimes righty hooks her heels under my rib cage and starts swimming up while lefty bumps her head rhythmically against my pelvis.
Devon seems to be getting excited about the New Babies.
Grammy arrived, and brought two newborn dolls for Devon to carry around. They have bottles so Devon can practice feeding the New Babies. He does this with great delight. Then, he chews on their feet.
I dare you to look at the next picture and not say, “Awwwwwww.”
It’s an involuntary response, like now when I grunt while getting up out of a chair. I was originally adamantly against brand new matchy-matchy car seats. Then I hit my third trimester and went completely insane. I had bad dreams about taking the babies to the grocery store and people thinking they were boy-girl because only one car seat was frilly. Graco, of course, discontinued Devon’s Winnie the Pooh car seat a month after we bought it, so there was no question of matching that one. So, one of our family presents is new matching car seats. Those who know me well are surprised, because I never buy anything new when I have something adequate already. I’m surprised, too, but right now still fitting into the jeans I wore yesterday surprises me.
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